Entry 0053: Q

Met up with Q today. We chat about life, and living…the work/life balance also came into the topic. I still hope for the work/life balance even though the more people I talk to, the more the bubble reveals itself. It seems more like a give and take problem, the question is how much life you would give up to work. You can work 16 hours a day, but you won’t have a life. Would you be happy like this? If the job is rewarding in term of wealth, you would be exciting for a little while, if the job gives you satisfactions, you would be happy a little while longer. But a human is a human, you need love to sustain a life, you can’t fall in love with your work, unless you are the workaholic type. When you have no place to relief the stress, the un-happiness inside you will explode one day. On the other hand, when you choose life over work, you have a happy family, but you can’t advance aggressively in your career. Why? Because when you are spending time playing with your children, your opponent is burning the midnight oil working. And you are not happy because you can’t advance in your career like others, and that means your income are not as good as those workaholic.
At the end of the day, it’s still a happiness question, are you happy?

Entry 0052: All Good Things

聽了兩年的絕情谷﹐剛剛拉下了序幕﹔追了一年的 GSD﹐明天就完結了﹔日劇版的電車男也結束了﹔三十六計今天大結局﹔SG Atlantis突然播出第二季的 season finale﹔連工作也是﹐今天是 last day﹐明天開始﹐我就是失業人士了。感覺上﹐身邊的事物一一都步向了完結篇。

舊的結束了﹐新的會開始﹐不禁想起老徐的匆匆﹕“燕子去了，在再来的时候；杨柳枯了，有再青的时候；桃花谢了，在再开的时候。”

Entry 0051: Walkabout

The term, "walkabout" came from Babylon 5, episode 3.18, where Dr. Franklin goes on a journey to discover his place in life.

I wanted to go for a walkabout too, as I am hoping to have a time gap between my current job and the coming job, about 10~15 days, allowing me to go for a trip the backpacker way…currently doing research on the route…

Too many things clouded me at the moment…I wasn’t sure what I want, or should I say I don’t know what am I living for, for wealth, like what Robert Kiyosaki suggest? For happiness? Self satisfactions? Luxuries?

Am I thinking all these because I have too many free time?

Hope to have the answer before it’s too late…

Entry 0050: ex-Seal

Met Dr. K.S in a underwater photography seminar. I would say that it was rather a physic class than a photography guide...He talk about optical physics, water pressure, etc.

When he mention he used to dive alone, I wonder…it is because divers dive in pairs as best practice. And later he told me he was in seal, and that answer all the questions. You can get all the toughest physical training a human can stand there…

The session bring back my passion towards diving. Need to get my Open Water License...

Entry 0049: 捨

絕情谷要完了…上個拜五聽倪震講到有重要是要宣佈﹐又話天下無不散之筵席﹐我都估到是要完結了。03 年 10 月開騷﹐05 年 9 月尾完結﹐都算是兩年吧﹗

今天聽 live 的絕情谷﹐我果然冇估錯﹐真是有點想哭的感覺…不知不覺﹐絕情谷已經陪伴著我度過了年多的歲月﹐亦算學了不少o野。

老實講﹐未聽絕情谷之前﹐我對倪震是冇好感的。在這一段日子﹐我都對他改觀了不少。至于細 Jo 呢﹐如果不是絕情谷﹐我可能到現在都不認識幽靈人間的那個女鬼﹑豪情的崔波波﹑我要做 Model 的戰衣…我想說﹐細 Jo偶然表露出來的野蠻本色好過癮啊﹗

絕情谷教的﹐愛就要說出來﹐大 Joe 細 Jo﹐我愛你們﹗

Entry 0048: 感動

日常生活中﹐我總會遇到一絲絲的感動。有時候﹐感動來自別人的話語﹔有時候﹐感動來自一部電影﹑一段文字﹔也有些時候會來自美食﹐或街上看見的一小段的插曲。這一些小感動﹐會在我的腦海中逗留幾天﹐然後隨風飄逝...

要是能夠將這些小感動都記載下來﹐我就可以確保自己活得好一點吧...

Entry 0047: the butterfly effect

剛剛聽到倪震在絕情谷說了一個故事﹐令我有點莫名的感動。

故 事發生在20世紀初﹐在美國的一個小鎮裡。小鎮有一間教堂﹐在一個星期天﹐牧師看見有個小女孩沒有位子坐﹐站在一旁。牧師眼見小女孩的衣裳有點破舊﹐覺 得小女孩應該是來自比較貧窮的家庭﹐而被比較富有的小孩排擠在外。牧師覺得教會的愛應該是無私的﹐於是他抱起小女孩﹐找了個位子給她坐。小女孩小小的心靈 也感覺到牧師的愛﹐於是她在心裡做了一個決定。

很不幸的﹐兩年之後﹐貧窮的小女孩因病去世了。女孩的父母親知道她生前最喜歡去教堂的主日 學﹐於是在小女孩的告別儀式上請來了牧師。就在牧師抱起小女孩的 時候﹐一個破舊的錢包掉了下來。錢包裡面有一張小字條﹐上面寫著幾個歪歪斜斜的字﹕“這是獻給神﹐獻給教會的﹐希望牧師能把教堂建得大一點﹐讓更多的小朋 友能夠分享到教會的愛。”原來小女孩從兩年前就開始存這筆錢了。錢包裡一共有 $4.50﹐牧師感動得哭了起來。

$4.50 是不足夠去建設新的教堂﹐也不夠用以加建教堂﹐可是這件事被傳媒報導了出去﹐許多人都在說這個小女孩要用 $4.50 去起一間教堂的故事。於是有一個好心的富翁知道了這個故事﹐覺得很感動﹐於是拿出一塊地﹐用 $4.50 的價錢賣了給教會﹐只為了成全小女孩的心願。

不久之後﹐那一塊的已經變成一個可以容納三千人的教會﹐教堂大樓裡還包括一座醫院。小女孩盡了力存了 $4.50﹐可是她卻從來都沒有想過原來 $4.50 的威力是這麼大的。

我 們時時都覺得自己很渺小﹐覺得很多努力都會付諸流水﹐往往會被無情的現實打敗。其實只要不問成敗的付出努力﹐我們是不知道我們的努力會帶起怎麼樣的漣 漪。只要抱緊自己的夢想﹐夠堅持﹐有心﹐然後就象小女孩一樣一點一滴咁付諸於行﹐我們是不知道這樣會給這個世界帶來甚麼美好的事物的。

願與大家共勉之

注﹕ 蝴蝶效應﹕混沌理論﹐美国气象学家洛伦芝（Lorenz）于1960年代提出一篇论文，名叫《一只蝴蝶拍一下翅膀会不会在德克萨斯州引起龙卷风？》， 他说，亚马逊流域的一只蝴蝶扇动翅膀，会掀起密西西比河流域的一场风暴。洛伦芝把这种现象戏称做"蝴蝶效应"，意思即一件表面上看来毫无关系、非常微小的 事情，可能带来巨大的改变。

Entry 0046: tuesday with Morrie

Just finish reading the book "tuesday with Morrie"

It's a good book that inspires me a lot.

Throughout the reading process, I did some highlighting...

Page 43.

So many people walk around with a meaningless life.

That depends how you define meaningful...what did I use my time for most of the time?

I surf the Internet, I watch TV Series, I read Comics, and I talk to friends, relatives, and families. I buy model kits, but never assemble them, I download videos, e-books but I never have time to finish them all, I buy gashapon and place them all over my living room, and I listen to HK radio programs, and try to learn from it. I started reading, a hobby I had been neglected for a while. How many of the things I do now is actually meaningful?

Page 52.

Love is the only rational act.

I tasted love, it walk into my heart and it walk away, I felt lonely until I realize that there are different flavors of love surrounding me. I am still seeking love, while cherishing the love I have.

Page 82.

Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

I am not immortal; there will be a time for me. My time might be far from now, or it might come tomorrow morning. I might not be able to see tomorrow sunrise, so, try to taste every different things before it’s too late…

Page 91.

Love each other or perish

Families are bond together by love, friends are bond by love. I still don’t have a soul mate yet, but I believe I’ll find my love.

我要從茫茫人海之中撈翻條蘇眉返來﹐哈哈﹗

Page 93.

There is no experience like having children.

I see friends having children, they enjoy every moment with the younglings, looking at them, I realize how my parents love me, how they were when I was young, before I have memories. Mom and dad, I love you.

Page 111.

Their wealth did not buy them happiness or contentment.

I am in a kind of bad situation right now because I aim for money, nothing but money. I learned the lesson.

Page 118.

You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Lives that haven’t found meaning. Because if you’ve found meaning in your life, you don’t want to go back.

I always wish I could go back to the early years of my life, made my choice again, walk a different path. The older I get, the more I think about the people I meet along the way. I begin to wonder, if I walk a different path, I wouldn’t have meet all these wonderful people, I wouldn’t taste the friendship this way. Things might turn out to be better but I am happy with what I have now.

Page 119.

envy comes to me, I feel it, and let it go.

Someone else always drives a better car, own a bigger house, have a better job. They can have what I want for life in a finger tip, am I gonna envy them, or I shall work towards them…

Page 149

Marriage: respect the other person, compromise, talk openly about what goes on between the two, and have a common set of values in life.

I believe in communications.

Page 157.

Invest in the human family. Invest in people. Build a little community of those you love and who love you.

I am doing that right now, even before I read this chapter. Guess I did something right after all.

Page 163.

Be compassionate, and take responsibility for each other. If we only learned those lessons, this world would be so much better a place.

Page 164.

Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others.

It reminds me of my pass, all those mistake I made, and the mistake the others had made, it’s best to let it go.

Page 173.

We are different from these wonderful plants and animals.

Read the book and find out why.

Page 174.

Dead ends a life, not a relationship.

Love lives in a form of memories, as long as those who love you lives, you’ll lives among them. I lost an uncle recently, although I only met him once in my life, but I still feel him pretty much alive in my memories.

Page 190.

There is no such thing as “too late” in life.

Go ahead and tell those you love that you love them.

There are priorities in life, I’m still trying to define my list of priorities…

I might highlight a totally different portion of the book if I have the time to read it 10 years from now. I’ll just absorb what I learn from Morrie and Mitch this round.

Entry 0045: Flexible?

Talked to the CFO, an early exit can be arranged. What a relief.
I found that I'm a lot happier after knowing that I got a way out. Looking foward to a island trip...

Entry 0044: 辭

I had tender my resignation. The CFO of the company would like to speak to me tomorrow morning. Is he going to ask me to stay? Or he’ll be asking me to leave immediately?
I won’t want to be any part of this anymore…

Entry 0043: 執著

I just had another discussion with D just now. We chit chat a bit, here and there and I quickly bring out the point that I am not really happy with my life right now. D talk a lot, aside from sharing how things works for him, he share his opinion on positioning oneself.

I am in a very deep shit situation, that’s undeniable. By positioning myself right, I can actually gain from it. How? I haven’t figured out, but I know what I am supposed to be considered.

I know why I am in this deep shit in the first place, I was looking for one thing only, I didn’t take anything other than my salary into consideration. “Remember sometimes you have to go low to fly high.” said D. If I can give up the figure right now, I don’t actually have much thing to worry about.

D also stated that reading is a habit, by committing yourself to read half an hour a day, you can actually accumulate a lot of reading hour, why am I not doing that?

D had doubt on the fact why am I not going after any romantic relationship…well, it’s important to have a companion but I just didn’t have the urge to make the move…am I not thinking straight?

Entry 0042: XV The Devil

This new job I got...good oro bad?
惡魔是由人內心的慾念而生，代表你被自己的慾望所縛，無法自拔。你被自己的自私和傲驕所困，還有什麼比這更容易毀滅一個人呢?

正位的含意：受到拘束而感到不自由、卑躬屈膝、淪為慾望的俘虜、頹廢的生活、隱瞞事實、誘惑的陷阱。
逆位的含意：擺脫不良誘惑、斷絕、拋棄慾望、有脫離現狀的機會、獲得解脫。

Entry 0041: 《60歲的情書》

上網訂購的《60歲的情書》到手啦﹗爽﹗
倪震果然好介紹﹐好正啊﹗﹗﹗

Entry 0040: 有咁耐折墮

折墮的日子﹐總是會特別掛念風流的時候。回想起一個月前的自己﹐依然活在一個無憂無慮的環境中﹐殘念﹗

Entry 0039: A new job, a new life

I had been too relaxed for the pass three years, and I found that the new job is a little bit hard to cob up with.

My type of job are suppose to be though, staying late, trying to solve a problem where nobody know how to, facing a system that is like a complete stranger…I have to define my own focus/interest, learn as much as I can while finishing the task assigned. I can ask for training, and there are a lot of good exposures for myself.

I had been studying the company, and I notice 2 facts:

1. The boss prefers to invest into the stuff rather than expensive hardware.

2. The company likes to send junior to pick up more and more responsibility, testing their limits.

My target here,

1. get as many certificates as I can:

i. CCNA, CCNP

ii. MCSE 2003

iii. CISSP

2. try to get involve into projects, helps to brush up my CV.

My life won’t be as easy as before, hope I am strong enough.

男人的野心與能力不成正比是最悲哀的。

Entry 0038: 離

I finally had my last day in the office yesterday, after 3.5 years working there...

Of all the time I'm working, I haven't give enough of myself to the job, it's like a 3 years summer holiday for me. More than 60% of the time I was doing non job relevant thing... Not a qualified employee, hugh?

I found that those I missed most are the friends I had made in the office. It's hard to make friends at the age, espesially after you are working in a society. The nature of friendship are usually not as pure as those you made when you are younger. I'm glad that I can still make some good friends at this age.

Entry 0037: I The Magician

魔術師代表著一切的開始，事物的開端。 火、風、水、土四大元素放置在桌上，魔術師的頭上有著代表無限的記號∞(Lemniscate)。 他創造了這個世界。魔術師也同時代表著一個充滿開創新局的智慧和高度操作技巧的形象。

正位的含意：有獨創性、有發展性、以新的計畫獲得成功、幸福的開端。
逆位的含意：低落、失敗、漫無目標的旅途、散漫、愚昧的行動。

I went for an interview today. I made a big mistake by not wearing a tie to an interview....

Beside that, the session went fine, I got the job the details will be finalize later, I got the figure I wanted, and the job sound challenging.

Entry 0036: Friends

Met with D today. As usual, he always has a different perspective on how he position himself in the society, how he gain his knowledge and experience, and how to live a life.

He keep emphasizing on reading, as what I understand from other sources, reading is the most important/effective way to accumulate knowledge.

From his perspective, there are four aspects of life that are needed to be focus on all time. There are family life, which is the root of yourself, love life, which adds color to the life, social life, where and how you position yourself in the crowd (society), and career life, where you gain your ego from. Lagging either one of those will make a life incomplete. As a person grows, he has to be expanding himself in every respect.

People always distracted by what lies in front, they often fail to see beyond the wall in front of their eyes. Seeing beyond is a skills needed to be learn by time, I find myself seeing the partial “big picture” most of the time. There’s always some points I can’t see at the moment, perhaps I’m still lack of experience, and knowledge.

At this age, the age of information, filtering information became a very important task by itself. As information comes on hand too easily, there are not appreciated. I have tons of “knowledge” stored in my harddisk, I just don’t have enough time to digest it. And I always lost focus in the process of going through it.

For the pass few months, I had been upgrading my lifestyle. I had started spending money on grooming, clothing, traveling and hobbies. It’s like I am beginning to settle down on my current status, and I know this is not a good sign… At this age, I am at a good position to take risk. I had enough buffers to sustain my life for a short period, and I don’t have committeemen yet. What better time could it be?

Risk, taking risk, managing risk. Risk is something I am always fears of. I tend to live comfortably, sometimes being too comfortable. This makes taking big risk a very big issue for me, where I lack of experience handling.

I had been fooling around with myself for too long, for not positioning myself well in my career, and not forcing myself enough. My self-discipline is like a mess. Is this because I don’t have a goal in my life?

Entry 0035: IX The Hermit

隱者代表著對真理無盡的探求。他遠離人世間的紛擾，摒棄忙碌勞頓的生活，走向尋求智慧的道路。尋求的另一面就是捨棄，你必須捨棄生命的某些部分，去追求另一個更高境界。

正位的含意：自信、理智、紮實的努力、中肯的建議、努力不懈的心態、冷靜的行動。
逆位的含意：洩露祕密、俗氣、神經質、不能通融、不理智、多疑。

I'll be carefull with everything today. Since I already had a bad start this morning....

Entry 0034: XI Justice

世上沒有絕對的對或錯，女神手中的天平似乎就說明了這點。她手中的劍是強力的制裁力量，似乎在警告著你，必須小心努力的保持著平衡的狀態。

正位的含意：誠實、公正、在兩者之間調解爭端、維持平衡、同時兼顧兩事。
逆位的含意：不公平、有始沒終、以自己的意見去斷定、不能兩全、不均衡。

Do you still belive in fair?

Entry 0033: The Strength

力 不只是代表物理的力量，更重要的是意志力和決斷力。獅子代表人類的慾望和野性的一面，必須以堅強的意志加以克服，是以他也是 一張代表「自我控制」的牌。 某些塔羅牌，以女人和獅子表示這張牌。女人代表一種無限的溫柔，完全的包容、馴服了猛獸，是一種更為偉大而無法抗拒的力量。

正位的含意：精力充沛、不區不撓、扭轉乾坤的意志力、潛藏的力量。
逆位的含意：精力不足、急躁不安、危險的賭注、喪失信心、忍耐力不足。

今天是人日﹐祝大家生日快樂﹗充滿力量﹗﹗

Entry 0032.2: The Gathering III

High school reunion is one of my favorite events for the Chinese New Year. Meeting friends that I grew up together with, and looking at what time had done to each and everyone of us.

Entry 0032: VI The Lovers

一對相愛的戀人，代表著完美的愛情。然而，>>更多時候，戀人這張牌代表著「選擇」。不僅是在你所愛的人之中做選擇，也是為你所無法割捨的兩件事物之間做選擇。有時是理智和情感的抉擇，有時是現實和理想之間的取捨。

正位的含意：幸運的相遇、同心協力、情投意合、豐富的感情、美好的前途、相愛。
逆位的含意：離別的時刻、不醒目、想要轉移目標、關係結束、沒有協助者、遭遇阻礙。

The Lovers on Valentines day, something good would happen today?

Entry 0032.1: The Gathering II

Just finish lunch with two friends, we had a plesent afternoon together.

Entry 0032: The Gathering

I had my first gathering for this new year last night. Meeting guys coming back from UK, friends that I haven't seen in two years. We had a great time together.

The problem solves itself at the office, I had nothing to worry about for this long holiday.
Hooray!!!

Entry 0031: XII The Hanged Man

這張牌令人想到基督教教義中，自我犧牲的精神。倒吊著的男子，是如此的沉靜安祥， 他以肉體的痛苦換取心理的滿足。吊人代表著你必須有所付出才能有所得，他也代表著你必須試著以不同的角度面對你的問題，才能獲得認清事實的智慧。

正位的含意：無法動彈、犧牲、因小禍而獲大福、因困苦勞頓而成長、考驗的時期。
逆位的含意：沒有希望、因私慾而受罰、白費力氣、沒有必要的付出、自我毀滅。

Felt sick since yeasterday. Resting at home.

Entry 0030: XXI: The World

愚者的流浪終於到達了他的終點。這張牌代表著目標的達成，以及物質和心理的完美狀態。但是注意世界也同時代表著終點和結束的意義。

正位的含意：完成、高昂的精神、幸福的時刻、達到顛峰、到達、成功。
逆位的含意：無法完全奉獻、為將來而苦惱、不順利、不安現狀、氣氛低迷、不成熟。

Yesterday was quite a good day, some problem solved, some problem still remain.

Entry 0029: VIII: Strength

力不只是代表物理的力量，更重要的是意志力和決斷力。獅子代表人類的慾望和野性的一面，必須以堅強的意志加以克服，是以 他也是一張代表「自我控制」的牌。 某些塔羅牌，以女人和獅子表示這張牌。女人代表一種無限的溫柔，完全的包容、馴服了猛獸，是一種更為偉大而無法抗拒的力量。

正位的含意：精力充沛、不區不撓、扭轉乾坤的意志力、潛藏的力量。
逆位的含意：精力不足、急躁不安、危險的賭注、喪失信心、忍耐力不足。

想要力量嗎﹖想要的話﹐就給你吧﹗

Entry 0028: I'll be in big trouble...

If I cann't find it tomorrow morning, I'll be in big trouble...

Entry 0027: Movies of the year 2004

Suddenly I have the urge to put down my favorite movies of year 2004.

1. Umizaru 海猿 (J)
Nobody respect their jobs more than the japs...
2. The Classic 假如愛有天意 (KR)
Love story of the year. This is definitely one of the most beautiful love story I ever watch.
3. Old Boy 原罪犯 (KR)
I felt really sick watching it, still this don't deny the fact that it is a really good movie, exelent cinematography act as great bonus.
4. Sex is Zero 色即是空 (KR)
Fatally hillarious, the chemistry between the actors and actresses are beyond description.
5. Everybody have secrets (KR)
It was naked and it was truth.
6. Kill Bill
QT rules!!!
7. Kill Bill 2
QT rules again!!!
8. Love Acually
there's not much british movie I enjoy, it has a unique way of telling stories.
9. Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow
The future of the 40"s is here!!! And I though I'll never see this kind of scene in any "made in America" movie....
10. Naked Ambition 豪情 (HK)
This was a total surprise, I wasn't really happy with the quality of HK movies nowsaday, but this one is really great.

Entry 0026: XXI The World

愚者的流浪終於到達了他的終點。這張牌代表著目標的達成，以及物質和心理的完美狀態。但是注意世界也同時代表著終點和結束的意義。

正位的含意：完成、高昂的精神、幸福的時刻、達到顛峰、到達、成功。
逆位的含意：無法完全奉獻、為將來而苦惱、不順利、不安現狀、氣氛低迷、不成熟。

There's still a very long road in front of me. I'll need to put in more effort before archiving anything.

Entry 0025: VI The Lovers

一對相愛的戀人，代表著完美的愛情。然而，>>更多時候，戀人這張牌代表著「選擇」。不僅是在你所愛的人之中做選擇，也是為你所無法割捨的兩件事物之間做選擇。有時是理智和情感的抉擇，有時是現實和理想之間的取捨。

正位的含意：幸運的相遇、同心協力、情投意合、豐富的感情、美好的前途、相愛。
逆位的含意：離別的時刻、不醒目、想要轉移目標、關係結束、沒有協助者、遭遇阻礙。

All good things comes to an end, who knows it wouldn't be a start for another good thing?

Entry 0024: VIII Strengh

力不只是代表物理的力量，更重要的是意志力和決斷力。獅子代表人類的慾望和野性的一面，必須以堅強的意志加以克服，是以他也是一張代表「自我控制」的牌。 某些塔羅牌，以女人和獅子表示這張牌。女人代表一種無限的溫柔，完全的包容、馴服了猛獸，是一種更為偉大而無法抗拒的力量。
正位的含意：精力充沛、不區不撓、扭轉乾坤的意志力、潛藏的力量。
逆位的含意：精力不足、急躁不安、危險的賭注、喪失信心、忍耐力不足。

Am I handeling things the way I want?

Entry 0023: i dun have feel on u lar...yeah .. just fren

She suddenly shows concern on me, telling me not to spend all my money on travelling, and save more money to but car/house...
Then she told me that it was just an advise from fren ...dun put in heart ar, tat no caring lar, dun ki siau lar, i dun have feel on u lar

XVI The Tower was referring to this?

Entry 0022: XVI The Tower

塔代表著毀滅，全然的結束，閃電代表著突如其來的意外災難。 或許\和死神的意義相結合，塔是一個強制的結束，必須先有完全的破壞才能重建。 塔的逆位置代表「毀滅的預感」、「毀滅即將來臨」。

正位的含意：麻煩不斷、逆境、遭受打擊、信念崩潰、壞局面、突發事件。
逆位的含意：瓦解、要有懸崖勒馬的勇氣、口舌之災、內部糾紛、緊急狀態。

萬事小心﹗﹗﹗

Entry 0021: The Trip

I had finalised the trip detail and all email was out. The process cannot be stop now...

Entry 0020: IV The Empreror

皇帝代表著父權的形象。他就是權威，他的話語是不可反抗的。嚴格而公正的執行著律法。皇帝代表著全然的支配和掌握，一種絕對的男性形象。

正位的含意：有行動的魄力、眾人的領導者、穩定的根基、男性化的、富有責任感的。
逆位的含意：幼稚、缺乏管理能力、不負責任、任性、蠻橫霸道、欠缺慾望。

I am going to make some decision today, is it suggesting me to be firmer?

Entry 0019: Self assesment

I need to have more initiative in every aspect of my life. I haven't been putting full effort in my work, I had postponed my exam for too long, and I stop my daily morning walk for quite a while.

I might want to be cruel to myself……

Entry 0018.2: Continue what I had started

I am making arrangement for my next trip, Pulau Perhentian. The details are being finalise right now, soon I can start collecting deposite.
I had ask quite a lot of people, I wonder how many of them would be travelling with me?

Entry 0018.1: Hopes it stops here

Just had a small accident just now. Result, my shoes were covered by mud, my windshield crack, and it left me only half of my clutch...

Entry 0018: I The Magician

魔術師代表著一切的開始，事物的開端。 火、風、水、土四大元素放置在桌上，魔術師的頭上有著代表無限的記號∞(Lemniscate)。 他創造了這個世界。魔術師也同時代表著一個充滿開創新局的智慧和高度操作技巧的形象。

正位的含意：有獨創性、有發展性、以新的計畫獲得成功\、幸福的開端。
逆位的含意：低落、失敗、漫無目標的旅途、散漫、愚昧的行動。

Looks like it's time I redefine my purpose and put soem real efforts into my work.

Entry 0017: One fine day

Met with two married friend today...chat over a late lunch, and learn about some skillsets I need to learn for my own good. Need to force myself a bit.

我需要對自己嚴格一點...

Entry 0016: XX Judgement

這張牌來自基督教末日審判的傳說，天使將吹響她的號角，死者從地面重生。 新生命的來臨之前，是對舊有自我的裁判。只有面對和接受自我的錯誤，才能獲致新的契機。

正位的含意：復活的喜悅、決斷的時刻、命運好轉、公開發表、改革期、好消息。
逆位的含意：失敗了不再振作恢復、未發表就結束了、不妥的決定、不能決定。

Doesn't seem like a good day...

Entry 0015: Next Trip

I'll be the organizer for the next trip, Lang Tengah. The price is still unknown, the date will falls between 21 April ~ 24 April. Head count, should be about 10 people.

I'm planing to get my scuba license too.

Entry 0014: Seed D #15

Maya Sakamoto finally have chance to present, she has such a sweet voice. Next week will be a recap, it would be nice if I could just skip it...

Entry 0013: Accidental Tourist

As a stranger, I found myself fitted into the group preety well, except the fact that she's been avoiding me...

I was hanted by the idea of going missing in action before the trip, that was a bad idea.

It was a happy trip, thanks to the Sun that was shinning on me.

Entry 0012: I The Magician

正位的含意：有獨創性、有發展性、以新的計畫獲得成功、幸福的開端。
Seem likes this is a good start. I just return from a fruitful trip, exhausted but I enjoy the trip very much. I met some people, make some friends, and hopefully clear some doubts...

Entry 0011: XIX The Sun

正位的含意：明朗的將來、有活力、有慾望、非常活躍、貴人相助而成功。
This is what I draw this morning. The Sun means that I will have a good, new start, wih a bright future. Nothing's bad is waiting in front.

Entry 0010: I did it again.

I realize that I will do some mindless shopping while I felt depressed. Like today, I bought another two box of models, an overbought comic (now I have two copies), and a pair of shoe. I don’t know why I did it, the urge is there. The only thing flowing through my mind is “What’s the worst it could be?”

Two more box into my collections...

Entry 0009: 我已經習慣了孤單

一個人的時候﹐我總是很會安排自己的時間﹐把一整天塞得滿滿的﹐完全不讓自己有想她的空間。
這樣是否因為我已經習慣了孤單呢﹖

Entry 0008: Seed D #14

大天使號出航了﹗看得我真的有點感動﹐就如重遇好久不見的朋友一般。
看到舊事才會那麼興奮﹐我果然只會緬懷過去...

Entry 0007: The Party

今天我出席了兩個四歲小朋友的生日派對。
人很多﹐很熱鬧﹐可是熱鬧背後﹐我還是感覺到無比的寂寞...
氣氛很好﹐小朋友都玩得很盡興﹐可是歡笑背後﹐我還是感覺到無比的孤單...



正在唱生日歌的小朋友們。

Entry 0006: 如果我爱你

如果我爱你...而你正巧的也爱我.......

那.....你生病的时候..我会去照顾你..陪着你到好....
你駕车的时候..我会要你小心一点..还要你到的时候打个电话跟我说...
你忘了吃晚餐的时候..我会装做狠生气..然後说'你这样会让我担心耶!"
你头发乱了时候..我会笑笑的替你拨一拨..然後..手还留恋的在你发上多待几秒
你想哭..我会陪你掉泪..尽管前一刻我的心情其实是雀跃的..
你要笑..我会陪你笑出声..不管我上一秒其实是沮丧的..
我在空闲的时候..会念念你的名字.想想你的声音..
我在逛街的时候..会想到"啊!你正好缺了这个..." 我在发现了好东西的时候..一定马上想到''一定要你来看看''..
我失眠了之後..听到你也失了眠...会在心里偷偷的傻笑...
我在熬夜的时候..接到你只为了说声'不要太累.早点睡了..'的电话. 会甜甜的笑着..而且乖乖的去睡...

我在想着你的时候..知道你也在想着我....

但是.... 如果我爱你...而你不巧的不爱我.........

那......你生病的时候..我只会打通电话慰问你.不敢奢求待在你身边...
你駕车的时候..我只会暗暗的在心中希望你安全...
你忘了吃晚餐..我只会笑笑的问'为什麽不吃阿?'...
你头发乱了..我只能轻轻的告诉你'头发乱了喔'....
你想哭...我只能在旁边无奈的轻轻叹气着...
你想笑...我只能微微的对你笑着...
我在空闲的时候...还是会念念你的名字..想想你的声音..
我在逛街的时候...会想到'是谁帮你买了这个了吧...'
我发现了好东西的时候...会无奈的想着'会是谁告诉你这个好消息呢'...
我失眠之後...会躲着不让你看见我的黑眼圈...
我在熬夜的时候...不敢期待会有电话声..响起来..
我在想着你的时候..会想到..这时的你..是想着谁呢?...

Entry 0005: What's happening to me?

I found that my tyre were flat when I’m about to get to work. Normally I would feel really down coz I had a bad morning, but today I don’t have that feeling….am I that down until this kind of event won’t affect my mood?

Entry 0004: A long day

I spent a day with her, working…I did enjoy her company along the day.
Even though I can’t have lunch with her, being by her side for so many hours did make me feel better.

Although I was caught in the rain on the way back, I still carry a happy mood while I was soak wet, haha.

Entry 0003.1: Do you know the way?

She called me after receiving my sms...at first we were discussing about the way to her office, and then it became a regular phone chit-chat.
She mention a 30+ guy going after her, and she talk about things happened in the pass, what she expect in the future, etc. I found that she remember very tiny bits I had told her. And I sense some hint in the conversasion...

I need to get a car soon...

Entry 0003: Good night

She just sent me a good night via sms. I greet her back.

Entry 0002.2: She's doing it again

She's doing it again...prusuading me to give up on her.

I'll see her tomorrow in her office, I wonder what will this become?

Entry 0002.1: i din hate u ar

I had a long chat with her after work, first it was just regular chat, then she bring it up. She says things like she's sorry for me coz she treat me bad, can't accept my love, having no feeling towards me.... I ask her if she hate me right now and her answer is "i din hate u ar"

Entry 0002: Surprises...

She caught me in surprise today...I wasn't expecting to see her, so I wasn't prepare at all. I didn't shave, and I didn't prepare anything for the meeting. Luckily I got the voice port fixed. Thanks, Jason.

She cut her hair, she looks cute with her new hairstyle.
We don't have much eye contact, as if she's avoiding me, or I'm the one that is afraid to look into her eyes. I'm not sure for anything right now.

How long do I need to be like this?

Entry 0001: Seed D #13

Just finish watching Gundam Seed Destiny #13, this is really a exciting episode. (Any episode is great after a two weeks gab.)

Expecting to see Archangel in action next week.

Entry 0000.1: Too many kits, too less time

Part of my unopen collections...

Entry 0000: 不要讓我們陷于誘惑

I had an iMax 3D experience today, watching Polar Express at Time Square. I really enjoy the movie even though Christmas is long gone.

I took a walk in Low Yat plaza after the movie and found a surprise. A Bandai Star Trek Enterprise NX-01 kit that cost only 160…I took about 1 hour to think it over and went to the shop and grab the kit.

Now I have a bigger problem. When will I have time to build it?